Posts

no easy love

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now listening : "Wherever I Go" by OneRepublic I'd certainly be lying if I said I found my daily walks around my neighborhood deeply enthralling everyday. Embarrassingly enough, I do follow roughly the same routine. Head out after my (lofty) dinner at around eight, pause in front of our porch because, wow, the golden light is streaking through the leaves of regal red foliage as they flutter in the soft breeze, continue forth, contemplate whether I should turn left or right, ultimately decide upon left because I'll feel the sun hit my face at just the right angle, remember to walk carefully so I don't trip over the one slab of sidewalk that insists on standing a few inches above the others, make a (futile) attempt to remain nonchalant as a passerby's dog starts growling at me ferociously for reasons unknown (seriously, why must passing by dogs be a humiliation ritual?), gaze up at the pale blue sky as it melts into a soft purple by the end of my walk, breathe i...

To the me who...

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now listening : "Take My Mind" by WizTheMc and bees & honey   A list of 10 books I hope will "take my mind to another place," to another world as I navigate all the new experiences, realizations, and emotions I will undertake this coming decade ☺︎ (WizTheMc and bees & honey, "Take My Mind"). 1. To the me who feels pitifully out of place in new settings (ahem...college), read Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov. After all, there's nothing you appreciate more than a lovable, equally-as-awkward-as-you main character. But beware of a roller coaster ride of emotions - as comical as his journey may be, it is almost equally as tragic. Perhaps locate to be in proximity to a tissue box.  2. To the me who wants her sister to stop nagging her, (finally) read You Wouldn't Dare by Samantha Markum. She has only been pestering you about this book for the past three years (mind you it was released three years ago). But really, if you ever need an easy, light ...

Dear Tarfia Faizullah,

Hello! My name is Kashifah, and I am a senior in high school who had the privilege of coming across your poem " En Route to Bangladesh, Another Crisis of Faith ." To be frank, poetry is not something I dip my toes in often save for school assignments, which is how I came across this poem. I find poetry's complexity daunting, its precisely chosen words frighteningly perfect. Yet, I felt a reflection of myself in your beautiful words. What first caught my attention was your selection of sensory details. They uncannily brought me back to this exact moment in my own life in 2016, when I was traveling to Bangladesh. I, too, remember sauntering through the Dubai airport with its thick summer air, past luxury displays of "silk scarves" and a seemingly unlimited assortment of "french fries" and fast food. I, too, remember being in a foreign country, yet still surrounded by other Bangladeshis making their way toward the same homeland. But as I ...

nouvelle vague

Songbird, Press your feet into the tree's bark when you are scared. The bark is warm, it is  worn, it is yours.    Yet morning comes. Is the branch now too narrow to bear your weight? Then go up through the green-blooded forest dappled in balmy sunlight — Your outstretched wings, quills against a boundless blue canvas.    Songbird, Above the ocean's shore you will see: The ocean's waves timidly fold back into themselves again and again — A comfortable pattern. Still, beneath their calm, a swelling new wave gathers.     Songbird, Stillness may curl around your mouth rich and nourishing as ripe fruit — Savor it too long and its sweetness may turn sour.   But songbird, I cannot tell you  whether to swallow or to fly. This poem was very much inspired by the concept of "nouvelle vague," or the French New Wave, which was a revolutionary 1950s film movement where filmmakers challenged norms of traditional filmmaking and editing. Filmmakers in t...

springtime thieves

I curse the skies and the dirt and the oceans and weep myself a pathetic June shower— But nothing will change. My covetous hands have plucked apart your youth one petal                            at a time. ... now listening : The Olympics Theme Song (why must the Olympics come to an end already...) 

Siddhartha's Spotify Wrapped

1. Brahmin Phase: "Above Me" by LEISURE: As a Brahmin, Siddhartha's path is led by a faith in knowledge that exists above him, like sacred texts and wisdom passed down from elders. LEISURE describes this sort of abstract longing through the repeated line "hope there's someone above me...guide me up when I go deep," which perfectly illustrates the Brahmin mindset, that wisdom can be gained from some higher authority rather than lived experience. Yet even through its longing, "Above Me" holds a restless, uncertain tone with lyrics like "so many problems I can't solve." Perhaps Siddhartha is also in a state of uncertainty: he masters rituals and prayers yet feels no closer to understanding the self. 2. Ascetic Phase: "Palmeras" by CLUBZ : As a Samana, Siddhartha undergoes extreme asceticism, and subsequently, denial of his self. He grasps onto the idea of riddance; he puts himself through severe hunger and physical pain to r...

Autonomy: Emerging Between Inherited and Chosen Values

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now listening: The Great Divide (from Secret of the Wings ) by McClain Sisters (best movie OST of all time, actually)      I’ve made many choices. I chose to banish myself from my sister’s room by bothering her during her finals. I chose to wake up precisely twelve minutes before I left for school so I could maximize my sleep (and make it boldly visible with my bedhead, too). I chose to quit karate lessons at the ripe of age of four because I was the only girl in the class.    Would I say, then, that I have autonomy over my decisions? That is, living up to the Greek roots of “auto” (self) and “nomos” (rule), making decisions according to my own values and reason?    Frankly, I’m not entirely sure. I’ve always viewed autonomy as something earned until now. I supposed once I reached the magical state of being “old enough,” I would have the privilege of doing what I wanted to do without external influence. And to an extent, that stands true: the most obvi...