pocket full of kash

Songbird, Press your feet into the tree's bark when you are scared. The bark is warm, it is  worn, it is yours.    Yet morning comes. Is the branch now too narrow to bear your weight? Then go up through the green-blooded forest dappled in balmy sunlight — Your outstretched wings, quills against a boundless blue canvas.    Songbird, Above the ocean's shore you will see: The ocean's waves timidly fold back into themselves again and again — A comfortable pattern. Still, beneath their calm, a swelling new wave gathers.     Songbird, Stillness may curl around your mouth rich and nourishing as ripe fruit — Savor it too long and its sweetness may turn sour.   But songbird, I cannot tell you  whether to swallow or to fly. This poem was very much inspired by the concept of "nouvelle vague," or the French New Wave, which was a revolutionary 1950s film movement where filmmakers challenged norms of traditional filmmaking and editing. Filmmakers in t...

I curse the skies and the dirt and the oceans and weep myself a pathetic June shower— But nothing will change. My covetous hands have plucked apart your youth one petal                            at a time. ... now listening : The Olympics Theme Song (why must the Olympics come to an end already...) 

1. Brahmin Phase: "Above Me" by LEISURE: As a Brahmin, Siddhartha's path is led by a faith in knowledge that exists above him, like sacred texts and wisdom passed down from elders. LEISURE describes this sort of abstract longing through the repeated line "hope there's someone above me...guide me up when I go deep," which perfectly illustrates the Brahmin mindset, that wisdom can be gained from some higher authority rather than lived experience. Yet even through its longing, "Above Me" holds a restless, uncertain tone with lyrics like "so many problems I can't solve." Perhaps Siddhartha is also in a state of uncertainty: he masters rituals and prayers yet feels no closer to understanding the self. 2. Ascetic Phase: "Palmeras" by CLUBZ : As a Samana, Siddhartha undergoes extreme asceticism, and subsequently, denial of his self. He grasps onto the idea of riddance; he puts himself through severe hunger and physical pain to r...

now listening: The Great Divide (from Secret of the Wings ) by McClain Sisters (best movie OST of all time, actually)      I’ve made many choices. I chose to banish myself from my sister’s room by bothering her during her finals. I chose to wake up precisely twelve minutes before I left for school so I could maximize my sleep (and make it boldly visible with my bedhead, too). I chose to quit karate lessons at the ripe of age of four because I was the only girl in the class.    Would I say, then, that I have autonomy over my decisions? That is, living up to the Greek roots of “auto” (self) and “nomos” (rule), making decisions according to my own values and reason?    Frankly, I’m not entirely sure. I’ve always viewed autonomy as something earned until now. I supposed once I reached the magical state of being “old enough,” I would have the privilege of doing what I wanted to do without external influence. And to an extent, that stands true: the most obvi...

now listening: Bonafide by Emotional Oranges (feat. Chiiild)  My terrible addiction of watching movie recaps on YouTube as a snack time ritual and essentially spoiling every good movie for myself in a matter of minutes has incurably ruined my chances of becoming a chronic, true Movie Watcher™. Fortunately enough, though, I was able to stop myself from finishing the movie recap for a particular fantasy film, Vanishing Time: A Boy Who Returned , which I went on to watch in its entirety and found quite interesting in its use of perspective.  A quick synopsis: The story begins as Soo-rin narrates to her psychiatrist what has happened to her: 13-year-old Soo-rin has just moved to a remote island where she forms an inseparable bond with a quiet orphan boy, Sung-min, who shares her fervor for supernatural things. One day, however, the two find a mysterious glowing egg hidden within a cave. Curious, Sung-min breaks the egg which causes time to keep moving for him while the rest of th...

now listening: So Young by Portugal. The Man There are few things I find funnier than a line without context. Unfortunately, this has caused me to contract a rare, incurable disease called ijbolitis (ijbol = I just burst out laughing). Symptoms include unpredictable cackles and complementary concerned stares from others. I encounter such context-less lines constantly, usually by tuning into someone's conversation at precisely the wrong second, but my all-time favorite example of this comes from the sitcom Modern Family . In one scene, where Cam is talking to Manny on the phone, going out of his way to try and coach him through his first real crush. It really is a very sweet, very wholesome moment...if (emphasis on if!) you know the context. Conveniently, Cam is holding this tender heart-to-heart in a public setting. And to help Manny confess, Cam proudly instructs him (mind you, at FULL volume) to say the following: "I know you're only 11, but I can't stop thinking abo...